After a Long Dry Spell

Okay, so much for daily posts through Lent. My apologies.

I was asked to deliver a prepared reflection for a lay prayer group that meets monthly for rosary, Mass, confession, reflection, prayer, and fellowship. I agreed because I figured it would be good for me even though the very thought of it was intimidating and I was nervous for the two weeks leading up to it all the way through until about ten minutes or so after I had finished and sat back down.

I can take no real credit for what I have written here, as it has all been said many times before and I still find myself learning from what I put together. Since my lack of discipline makes it difficult for me to persevere in a task for weeks on end, this is something that I need to work on myself.

Hopefully, this will help me to remember why I want to choose to do the right thing each day and to actually follow through with doing the right thing every day.

Without further ado, I share with you my personal reflection on obedience:

Two years ago, April 11th fell on the second Thursday of Easter. The first reading for that day came from the Acts of the Apostles: chapter 5, verses 27-33.

When the court officers had brought the Apostles in
and made them stand before the Sanhedrin,
the high priest questioned them,
“We gave you strict orders did we not,
to stop teaching in that name.
Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching
and want to bring this man’s blood upon us.”
But Peter and the Apostles said in reply,
“We must obey God rather than men.
The God of our ancestors raised Jesus,
though you had him killed by hanging him on a tree.
God exalted him at his right hand as leader and savior
to grant Israel repentance and forgiveness of sins.
We are witnesses of these things,
as is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey him.”

When they heard this,
they became infuriated and wanted to put them to death.

In his homily that day, Pope Francis focused upon the word obey as it appears more than once in this passage. He explained that the word “obey” comes from the Latin word that most literally means to listen and attend… that is what it means to obey. We often use the word listen in the same way. ‘Listen to your mother’ means much more than to register the sound of her words as she speaks. If we truly listen, we take in what we are told. We understand and absorb the truth of it. We make a determination that will build upon what we are. When we truly listen, we must make an action of the will to either accept or reject what we have heard. This acceptance or rejection is the heart of obedience or disobedience.

It is of the utmost importance, at this point to reflect upon one of the defining characteristics of our human nature: our free will.

The will is one of our insubstantial parts. It cannot be forced. Any action of our will is truly ours alone. Obedience is a free action of the will. Greek, the original language of the New Testament, went even further than Latin in how it expressed the concept that we call obedience. The Greek word that we would translate as obedience is actually a form of the verb that means to persuade. A slight change in the ending of the verb points it back to oneself so that obedience is the idea of persuading yourself. We should always be mindful that we have chosen to submit to any rules that govern us, whether they be human or divine.

The Apostles show us, in the passage above, that we must constantly and freely choose which rule will govern us.

God gave Adam and Eve only one command while they were in the Garden of Eden. While there are many levels of meaning that can be explored in the story of the fall of man, in one respect it does not matter so much what had been forbidden them so much as it matters that there was but one thing that was forbidden. In the Garden, there were no mitigating circumstances; there was no option “C”; there was no moral sophistry before they ate of the Fruit of the Knowledge of Good & Evil. That one command given by God required Adam and Eve to make the free choice between obedience to God solely for the love of Him who had given the command or disobedience because their own desires mattered more.

Our choices would never be so simple again. Now, mankind is able to understand the right and wrong of an action in a very different way. We balance consequences and foreseeable outcomes with conflicting desires. Utility and pleasure influence our choices as much or more than love.

Many generations after the fall of man, God showed mercy to His chosen people by giving them more commands. This time, there was not the single test but the revelation of the way to live well in the sight of God. There are three commands that tell us how to know and honor God and seven commands that tell us how to live amongst each other.

When the Chosen People found that ten simple commands left a great deal of room for temptation and justification, they had recourse to God, through Moses, for further instructions so that they might know when and how to obey the commandments properly. Deuteronomy is not a popular part of the Old Testament to read, but the multitude of minute rules comes at our request. Careful and explicit laws give us the opportunity to know when we are obedient to God’s law. We know when and how to obey the commandments and by obeying the commandments, we know how to properly live out our love for God and for our neighbor.

As Easter people, we have Christ’s instruction that takes us back to the simple choice of obedience for the sake of love. Jesus affirmed that obedience to the commandments was the path to heaven, but he also taught us why. The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your strength and all your mind and because we cannot truly love in thought without loving in deed, that command cannot be separated from the second, that you should love your neighbor as yourself.

We are called to be perfect, as our Heavenly Father is perfect. God is love itself. When we love, we live out God’s perfection. We put our love into action when we obey God’s law that has been revealed to us.

My Hope and My Fidelity

My attitude regarding ecumenism is hope for souls. I have faith that God’s love and mercy are truly infinite and that the only limiting factor in our salvation lies in our own free will. I am reminded of this whenever I think on these verses from chapter 9 of the Gospel of Mark:

John answered him, saying: Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, who followeth not us, and we forbade him. But Jesus said: Do not forbid him. For there is no man that doth a miracle in my name, and can soon speak ill of me. For he that is not against you, is for you. For whosoever shall give you to drink a cup of water in my name, because you belong to Christ: amen I say to you, he shall not lose his reward.         -Mark 9:37-40

I do not believe that only those in full communion with the Catholic Church are certain of heaven. First off, I know that just because I am a Catholic does not make me assured of heaven. Thanks to the sacraments of Christ, I have greater hope of heaven. That is all. The rest is still up to me. I have the assurance that God will be with me and help me to follow Him, but I have to stay on the path. I am still free to deviate and go another way.

Even though I do not believe that one must be Catholic to follow Christ, I will remain a Catholic and I believe that the Church shines the brightest light on the path to heaven. While the man who performed miracles in Jesus’ name was permitted to continue doing so, it still remains that he did not follow Jesus with the apostles. Such is the way of the varied churches today. There is the sacramental Church (sadly divided into East and West) and there are the protestant churches. There are those who share a cup of water with you in Christ’s name and for that they are blessed and then there are those who walk in Christ’s presence. The Miracle of transubstantiation occurs every day all over the world as the Church’s priests say the Mass. Christ is with us still: Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. For that we give thanks and thus we call it the Eucharist. 

In an Imaginary Heaven

In the writing exercise below, a little angel of hope who is no more significant than a distant twinkling star asks if she may help her fallen brethren return to grace. Sometimes we meet people whom we want to call angels in the flesh. Catholics will call them living saints. In an imaginary world that holds the stories written by a dear friend of mine, where magic is everywhere and so is the love of God, just such conversation as this might have taken place:

“May I remind them?”

They have chosen to do things their own way.

“Father, may I remind them?”

Patience.

“Father, may I go tell them?”

What do you wish to tell them?

“I wish to tell them that they can come home.”

They know this.

“They are not mindful of it. They need to remember.”

Someone has already gone.

“But Father, He did not go for them. He went for the ones who did not know Him.”

They heard Him, regardless. They recognized Him. They fought Him.

“That is because they do not remember how much they love Him. They do not remember how good it is to be home. They do not remember that they want to be here.”

Why do you say they want to be here if they have chosen to remain below?

“They are unhappy. They have been unhappy ever since they left.”

Whom do you wish to tell?

“I wish to tell everyone.”

There are many.

“I do not mind.”

Where do you wish to go?

“I wish to go to them, where they are.”

They have made Hell to appear vast. Should you go, it will be a long and arduous journey.

“But they could hear if someone comes and they could remember if someone tells them.”

Hell is where I am rejected; to go there you must leave me.

“Your Spirit never leaves me, Father. Whither-so-ever I may go, You are with me.”

Then whither-so-ever you may go, Hell will not be there. Even the smallest of my angels is too bright. They will recoil from you.

“If I am too bright, then make me dim enough for them to see. If I am too great, then make me small enough for them to hear.”

To be that small you must be housed in flesh. You would cease to be what you are.

“When I have you, Father, what need have I for my self?”

Will you pour out yourself for the others who still may reject you?

“If I tell them, they could remember where they want to be and you may bring them home.”

Why did you not first go to Gabriel? He is your superior.

“You are my Father as you are his. I am one of your little ones as he is one of your big ones. You love me as you love him. You speak to me as you speak to him.”

Because you have asked this of me, I will give you a house of flesh with a voice both soft and sweet and I will fill you with a humble glory so that you may reflect my light for even the blind to see. You will not lose your inmost nature, nor will my Spirit ever part from you. 

So There

Tonight, I was busy living out the things that give me good thoughts and enjoying time with my best friend.

Better than spending my time blogging.

Rejoice in the Law

In Chapter 8 of Nehemiah, Ezra read the laws of Moses to the people of Jerusalem. For hours. Everyone assembled to listen and be educated in the Law. When he had finished teaching them, he told them not to be sad or weep on this day, for it is holy.

I will admit that there is much about this period in history and about the Jewish traditions in general that I do not know and I could easily be overlooking a blatant textual clue that Ezra was reading the Law to the people on that day because it was a holy day. This chapter begins a section of the book in which the Feast of Booths, during the seventh month, was celebrated for the first time in many, many generations. Likewise, these chapters explain that the people who were living in Jerusalem in this period of return from the Babylonian Exile were not educated in the Laws of Moses. The reading of the Laws was a significant part of the holiness of the day, whether that alone made the day holy or the reading of the Law was the proper way to observe that holy day.

Many lessons can be taken from a given Scripture passage. Today, I am drawn to the thought that the Law is a gift from God. We should rejoice in this gift rather than presume it is burdensome. At the beginning of last school year, some of the high school girls complained to me that the rules and dress code were so long and detailed that they felt it was a burden. In response, I asked them if they preferred to have the school's standards and expectations spelled out so precisely or if they would rather be subject to each teacher's personal opinion of what constituted modest and civilized conduct and dress for the whole year. Thinking immediately of a couple teachers in particular who were by nature very prim, the girls quickly changed their tune and answered that they would prefer to have the school rules available to use in their own defense should someone ever take issue with something they have done.

In a perfectly free society, Heaven, the Laws of God will still be in place. It is a mistake to think that the Laws will no longer be needed. We will rejoice when we can not only perceive God's great and orderly creation, we will be able to freely participate in that order without the burden of temptation or sin. We will perceive and obey God's divine Law of our own free will because our wills will finally be perfect. There the Law will not need to be enforced from without because the citizens of Heaven disobey the Law. Nor will the Law be needed for a person to defend themselves from an authority abusing its power because the Authority of Heaven is the Father, who is perfect. The Law will simply be. We will know it in our hearts and it will be a part of the truth and beauty of all things in which we will rejoice with the angels.

On Earth, we are not so lucky. Even in what we would like to call a free society, temptation and sin prevent the truly free use of our will to do as we ought and as we want. The wisest attempts at structuring human governments have always sought to limit the power any particular man or men may have because our fallen nature has proven itself time and time again. Without the rule of Law, life is nasty, brutish and short. Crime is a despot all its own. And yet, when we men come together to form societies and governments, political despotism is a valid fear. Law limits not only the citizen from becoming a criminal, it limits authority from ruling by whim.

Taking into account the proper definitions of reason and of free will, we must acknowledge that all men are governed by consent, regardless of the name of the political structure under which they live. God's Law is written in our hearts so that we may recognize right from wrong in our own actions and in human laws. It is a divine gift in which we should rejoice.

The Oroboros of Success and Failure

Regardless of the title, this post is not a complaint.

That aspect of my life seems to have returned to normal. That's where my danger lies. My own cessation of complaint was my first goal with this blog and for Lent. Those aren't my only goals, but it is very tempting to be satisfied when that alone is no longer a serious problem.

The relief I felt as soon as committing to fill my complaining time with good thoughts that I would share has been sustained and for that, I am truly thankful and remember to be thankful for that every day. I am able to have good thoughts throughout the day, though they are usually little things along the regular themes of my life, so if I shared most of them, I would be writing about the same thing in the same way often. My evenings are no longer consumed with venting about work. I am attentive to my husband and to friends. I am able to contentedly settle into the night.

Those comfortable nights are my most forgetful. I am living in the moment and do not think about evaluating my day. I think it is time for me to set a next goal, a goal that will compliment and continue my first goal, both for this blog and for Lent. At Easter, we will see what this project become next. In the meantime, be prepared for some Scripture comments from the non-authority, Yours Truly. I think I can make writing thoughts about that a daily habit.

Pray for me. I will pray for you.

Keats' Ontology... or was that Tautology?

The Keats poem tells us that "Truth is beauty and beauty truth." Modernists call that a falacy while Christians would welcome you to one of the many mysteries of God.

I wanted to fit a bad joke about Greek etimology in that last line above, but my jokes are rarely funny and it would have taken too much explanation anyway. You see, the Greeks have a word, kalos, which means both beauty and goodness. It describes those things that posess a wholesome beauty. To be kalos, a thing must be good as well as pretty in appearance. It also implies that good things are pleasant to behold. 

Liteature throughout history contains plots that explore the irony or the tragedy that comes from only one of these traits being present in a thing. Victor Hugo gave us the tragedy of Quasimodo with his good heart and physical deformity. Oscar Wylde horrified us with the corruption of Dorian Gray. Professor Tolkein whispered to us the mystery and wisdom of the Cross when Strider laughed that he seemed foul but felt fair. 

My 8th graders will have to take some time tomorrow to try figure out why they think love is an emotion when we are told that God himself is love and Christ has commanded us to do it rather than feel it.  I look forward to hearing what they come up with.

[Another oops. I did not realize that when I wrote this one on my phone that I had only saved it as a draft rather than publishing it. Here it is, for the record...And the kids discussion was very interesting to watch. They were impressive.]

Getting Settled

Getting settled into new routines often means that I have gotten to the point where I am familiar enough with something that I am tempted to cut corners.

My husband's new morning routine is getting that familiar. It is very tempting to wait until morning to fix the lunches, even when we take time in the evening to plan out the next day. These evening planning sessions are not really anything more than brief conversations that start with something like, "Tell me again what your schedule is for tomorrow..." For someone like me who is completely willing to roll with the punches and take things as they come, such conversations are all it takes to completely revolutionize my life. There are two blessings held within them. My husband and I are making a more deliberate effort to face our days together and God is giving me a very simple and recognizable way to resist temptation.

This little fight with temptation, prep meals tonight vs. waiting until the morning, will equip me to face a much more difficult temptation in the morning: get out of bed early and put on workout clothes and exercise for the second day, or give up and sit on the couch in my jammies for half an hour sipping coffee. If I get off the couch tonight and win this fight, it will be that much easier not to sit on the couch in the morning.

That being said...

Wanting to Give a Gift Well

I'm doing a favor for a friend. He is reenacting a Fulton Sheen presentation for a charity fundraiser. His costume is amazing... because it's real. Our archbishop lent him his own cassock, pellegrina and fascia to use for the show. It fits remarkably well save that it is far too long.

My friend asked me if I could put in a temporary hem. I was happy to do so, but am torn about how good a job to do. I put in a quick tailor's stitch without pressing it because I don't want the archbishop to be stuck with a crease at the bottom of his cassock the next time he has to wear it. At the same time, I want the garment to hang well while my friend is wearing it in his performance.

It is tempting to worry over such a conundrum. Thankfully, my guardian angel reminded me of how grateful my friend is for the help in the first place and of how fond I am of both my friend and my archbishop. They are both good men and I was mindful to stitch love for both of them into the garment with my thread. With that, I can trust in the generosity of both of their spirits and know that the work I have done, whatever the outcome, was done with the intent to please both of them.

ON A SIDE NOTE, how cool is it that I got to work on a real archbishop's cassock? Who gets to do that? I love living in a small remote diocese. It's cool enough that I know my archbishop and what a kind and personable man he is.

Oops

Yesterday evening, my thoughts we so full of doing things for others that I did not remember to post. It looks like Saturdays will be my particular challenge.

Joy is Contagious

By no means was I having a bad day today. I would easily call it fruitful and productive.Even if I brought some of my own baggage into it, it was a good day. Nothing to complain about.

My just happened to end very, very well. Tonight is Game Night in the upper school building. About once a year, the seniors will organize a campus game night social a fund raiser for prom. The kids were about an hour into their play when I wandered in to get my coat and leave. My husband, who is rather fond of my students, came in with me when he came to pick me up from work. It was delightful chaos. Everyone was having fun. One classroom had been cleared out for barefoot soccer and knee-hockey. The tables of another room had been rigged with a ping pong net. Video games were squirrelled away in a back classroom that was reasonably full. Board games were not nearly as popular, but the group playing "Say Anything" were having fun together. Best of all, Nerf gun wars were dominating the hallways and the junior high was holding its own pretty well against two of the teacher chaperons.

Seeing everyone play makes me so happy. They were relaxed and joyful while taking their games so very seriously. Their whole selves were devoted to what they were doing. They were truly alive... well, I have some doubts about the video game room but everyone else was.

They kids (and chaperones) played the way we are supposed to live. We are supposed to live joyfully, giving it everything we are. Live wholely in the moment, even when you plan for the future, for our end will come like a thief in the night. What a shame if the thief found nothing there to steal.

He's a Keeper

I want to brag about how lucky I am to have the husband I do. It amazes me that so many people are willing to live as if they were sharing their lives with another person whike all they are really doing is sharing living space.

The difficulty is not in finding the right person but in wanting to be the right person and then finding then finding the one with whom you are. Do you find your mate interresting enough to pay attention to things you are not inclined to notice on your own? When you care about them enough to learn about their interests in a real way, you become a greater person while truly suporting them. That is the kind of thing love is made of.

I am blessed in that I share that with my sweet, attentive and generous husband.

Dinner with Friends

Casual friends can be a blessing, just as close friends are a blessing. Tonight we had dinner with friends that we rarely hang out with. It was a great evening. The kind of evening that leaves you wondering why you don't do these things more often.

I can't really say why we don't. Sure, I can describe what we normally do with our weekday evenings but an efficient cause is not a final cause. I don't know why I gravitate toward quiet nights at home and rely on social obligations or requests for help to get me to be sociable. I like the company of others, at least in small groups. I can also talk your ear off. Out of habit, I hang out with my husband and my best friend and don't get out much.

I am grateful for the reminder of how many friends I have.

With week 2, we start to see whether I can turn this into a habit. Ironically, it was easier for me to sit down and focus on deliberately finding something good to say when I had the same old things to complain about. Filling the void really was an apt description of what this blog is meant to be for the first six weeks. The odd thing is that I have a harder time sitting down to write about one good thing when my whole day was pleasant and I don't have much to complain about.

Sure, I could find things to complain about if I wanted to. I have even lapsed in my goal since last Monday, but I have been much happier and more at ease since starting this project. Now that things are easier to deal with, it is not as easy to focus on doing this.

I find that most of my faith practices are like this. It seems that there are two general faith responses to extreme situations. I am aware that many people have lost their faith when tragedy or severe struggles come their way. Hardship can lead some to question and doubt. Pain can lead someone to blaming God for misery because He is the author of fate. On the flip side, there is the old expression, 'no atheists in a foxhole.' This expression addresses the natural human tendency to look to a higher power when things are beyond your control. My faith is my life raft in times of difficulty. I do not falter because I doubt. I falter when I get comfortable. I get complacent and lazy. Perhaps I can convince myself of the dangers of complacency and fight it as if it looked like the grave and pressing danger it is.

I pray for the protection of my guardian angel and for the intercession of the saints. Oh, dear saints, while you are at it, please pray for everyone who has asked for my prayers and for whom I have said I would pray. I mean well but I forget. Please remember for me and pray for them as I intended.

Happy Lent

I am filled with wonder over the gifts I am being given this Lent.

Ever since resolving to make this blog, I have felt as if a load has been lifted from my shoulders. My spirits have lifted and I have had much more energy with which to face the normal demands of my day. This weekend has been no different. I have enjoyed quite the leisurely weekend, I assure you. At the same time, my focus has been more on preparing for the coming week than recovering from the last one. This is a huge change and it feels wonderful! Some of this is rooted in my husband and I being more on the same page in this regard than we used to be.

My sweet husband and I are very compatible and do more mundane tasks together than most couples would ever admit to considering. We are, however, born with opposing body clocks. I am a morning person while he is a night owl. For his birthday in December, he started exercising in the mornings and losing weight quite successfully. Gone were my quiet private mornings and the funny looks over my weirdo foods. He has been packing lunches the night before in stead of eating out so much. He has been looking up ideas for fresh foods that he could eat rather than the old stand-by's that his southern grandparents taught him. We are enjoying more of the same foods, spending a few minutes together in the kitchen each evening, and sharing our mornings in the living room with him exercising while I review for my classes that day. I really enjoy these changes.

We are so very blessed.

A Lazy Day

Ironically, yesterday was so pleasant and relaxing that I forgot to make my post about some good thing.

As always, I am grateful for my dear husband. Yesterday was so nice because we were together all day, just running errands and hanging around the house.

Beautiful Fridays

I love sunny Friday afternoons at school. There is an energy on campus that just makes everyone smile.

It's ironic that Friday inspires this joy and yet, the children would happily stay there until evening and play with their friends rather than go home.

Other Duties as Assigned

It is important to remember that there is an inherent dignity in labor, just as there is an inherent dignity in man. Before Adam's fall, God gave Adam and his mate a job. They had a task, tending the garden. In our original blessed state, we were happy with work.

I was thinking of this today as I was mopping up after a toilet that had overflowed. It surprised me at first that I was able to face that task blithely. It was tempting from time to time to have a bad attitude about the situation. Honestly, no one likes to deal with an overflowing toilet. Whenever those thoughts rose to the fore, it occurred to me that I had to actually dwell on unpleasant aspects of the chore to be bothered by it. Thankfully, it was not hard to remember what so many saints have lived, that any task, no matter how small or menial, is beautiful if done out of love.

It was not hard to see this afternoon that no work is beneath you, but that you might be beneath the work, if you cannot see the dignity in the labor or perform the action out of love.

Everything in Its Proper Season

Lent is perfectly suited for late winter. It may seem obvious to point out that God, in His infinite wisdom, has organized the liturgical seasons to perfectly match the and complement the seasons of nature. While it is a well known and oft spoken truth that He brings all things to fruition in their proper time, there is still wisdom and peace to be found in appreciating that truth. It also seems to me that the Lenten late winter is one of these proper times that is not as frequently expressed.

I mentioned yesterday that one of the challenges of teaching is to keep students engaged during third quarter when they are most inclined to run a muck. Children and teenagers and not the only ones who have this inclination in late winter. We all feel that the cold and darkness and drab surroundings have lasted too long and are not yet close enough to ending. In the classroom, the solution is to shake things up with some different class activities, directly engage specific students who are most likely to fall behind, get everyone up and moving a little more often...

In this regard, our souls are not that different from the classroom. We get in a rut. We get complacent. We accept the state of things no matter whether we are ignoring our present state of sin or settling for a limited or effortless prayer life. Our souls and minds and moods need shaking up this time of year, so God gives us Lent. We have a whole season in which we are invited and challenged to slap ourselves in the face, wake up, look at ourselves and study our lessons in a new way. 

It may take a little extra energy to get started, but we are happier for applying the effort. I am happier for this commitment that I will finish my day by saying something good. My mood has been lighter since the very moment I decided that this is how I would celebrate my Lent.

God bless. Thank you.

Discovering Leadership

February, also known to students and teachers as Third Quarter, is a difficult time in the school year. Christmas is over. The weather is (usually) nowhere near warming up. We have all had enough time to get firmly settled into a rut and there is still too much of the school year left for students to necessarily be worried about pulling their grades up for report cards.

It is the teacher's responsibility, to plan for this and provide class activities that will help the students stay interested in what they are learning. In pre-algebra, this is the time of year that I really get the students demonstrating problems at the board or working on individual sized white boards as quickly as they can. My Greek 2 students make it easy for me. I have three highly motivated students in that class who love to learn and love language in general. They also enjoy the privileges that come with being upperclassmen in a very small class that can be trusted to work hard. My Theology 8 class is the one that really concerns me with regard to the third quarter slump. The architecture of the room makes it feel packed with 14 eighth graders. It is the only class this year that I have not taught before, which always makes me a little nervous about pacing. I will admit that the class typically has a set formula for how we proceed. Reading and written questions for homework followed discussions of the homework to correct it the following day. Class discussions start with the homework corrections but always expand from there. Quizzes are held on Fridays. It's very predictable. And it's utterly amazing how much the class changes when they have another kind of activity to do.

Such simple things can shake up a class. Today I had them making study guides for the first two thirds of the current chapter. It covers a great deal of material, so there are about a hundred questions for the chapter review at the end. Two of the three sections used 73 questions. The students know this now because they had five minutes to find all the questions based on the material they had read so far. Once they found the right questions, the moved around to assigned groups and teamed up to identify where in the chapter to find the answers to those questions based on the outline format their textbook uses. I gave them small blocks of time to achieve certain parts of the assignment, allowing them to decide how they got it done. Division of labor and teamwork were permitted and encouraged. I was surprised to see which students took the work seriously and showed leadership within their small groups.

I have one student in the eighth grade who is a scout. He is not just in scouts, he is a scout. If you give him a task and a team, he will lead. It was such a pleasure to watch this today. Puberty has not been easy on him and he has struggled in many ways. Today, he flourished. I need to find more ways to keep those fires burning.

I am grateful for a good day.

Ready for Launch

A blog is, unfortunately, an attractive medium for an undisciplined writer.

I will admit from the beginning that I am undisciplined, but that is not why I am here. This medium, as opposed to any other, gives me no excuses for not starting immediately and not keeping at it. Behold, instant gratification transformed into instant accountability. My first goal here is very personal. I am trying to stop complaining for lent, but it is not enough for me to refrain from complaining.

Perhaps my husband would settle for an end to the complaining or venting or whining or whatever one wanted to call what I do on the drive home, but stopping alone is not enough. For one reason, the void must be filled. If I seek to stop any habit, with what behavior do I replace those actions I want to cease? This leads me to honestly face what I ought to be doing with my time when I have the precious attention of others who are generous enough to listen to me when I have something to say. Any friend, especially a friend who loves me enough to marry me, deserves better than to have his time and attention spent fruitlessly by another. The people I talk to (or write for) deserve much better than to have irreplaceable moments of their lives wasted on hearing me complain about anything. It is far better that I devote my energies to things that are worth their time and attention. What is worthwhile to spend time listening to, reading, writing, and talking about? That is what I should fill my thoughts and energy with, rather than complaints.

It is not enough to abandon vice without seeking the corresponding virtue. The likelihood of succeeding in conquering the vice diminishes without building a foundation of virtue. In this case, there are numerous facets to charity for me to examine in relation to vanquishing my chosen bad habit. If I truly love the people I speak to, I should give them something worth hearing. Those I speak of, whether they are people, institutions, or situations, also deserve to be spoken of with charity instead of vexation. I also am a better and happier person when I rise above the emotional sinkhole of complaining. Lastly, if God has seen fit to make me in His image, I ought not make Him look bad.

If you have found your way to this little blog, the path to it may have already led you through some mentions of the superversive movement advanced by a handful of speculative fiction writers and other creative thinkers who appreciate truth, beauty and goodness. This site will begin as my promise to close my day with something good to say.

Pray for me, I'm going to need it. I will return the favor.